Help! I'm A Decent Footballer Get Me Out Of Here

Watching the Spuds v Arse game between bouts of gardening I had to feel sorry for Dimitar Berbatov. Here is a player of genuine skill, vision, touch and class toiling away up front on his own for a team that struggles to string more than one pass together.

You can only hope that for the sake of his sanity somebody takes the Bulgarian away from 'the Lane' in the summer. He could get into any of the sides above Spuds and it's more painful than normal watching North London's second team as they run around him like rabbits caught in the headlights of a Premiership footballing juggernaut they are ill equipped to deal with.

So come on Sir Alex, Arsene or Maureen, for just £8 million of your American/Russian pounds this quality striker could be yours.

Remember when you were young your Mum would warn you about accepting sweets from strange men, well this is why....

Where does he keep his change?

Cultural Highlight Of The Year

I know April isn't the month for handing out annual awards but last night at approx. 11:50 p.m I saw something on BBC2 that will take a lot of beating between now and the end of December.

Arcade Fire playing Guns Of Brixton in the foyer of the Brixton Academy is something that will stay with me for a long time. Simply magic.