Phew that was close!

Short fat bloke tries to fly unaided back to BA

How on earth did it come to this? Sitting in front of a television screen at 1:15 a.m watching the Uruguay team struggle to make a match of it against an Argentine side that is so much less than the sum of its parts, I came to the conclusion that Maradona really doesn't have a clue when it comes to coaching a side.

Does he do his pre-match scouting via You Tube? Look at the current squad and the Albicelestes should be capable of beating everybody in South America including the current very ordinary and very pragmatic Brazil. It is a mixture of youth and experience and in the case of the youth end of the scale we are talking about some of the best under-25 players in the world. Starting with goalkeeper Sergio Romero (age 22) who is the best Argentine goalkeeper since the legendary Ubaldo Matildo Fillol, in defence there is the pairing of once from Zabaleta, Otamendi and Monzon who together with the more experienced Demichilis and Heinze should prove hard to break down. In midfield there is the experienced Juan Sebastian Veron and Xavier Mascherano (still only 25) alongside the exciting Jonas Guttierez and Lucho Gonzalez. If injuries disrupt the midfield then Maradona has the luxury of being able to call-up Javier Zanetti, for me still one of the best midfield players in Serie A and Pablo Aimar who only a few years ago was the best player in La Liga who didn't play for Brazil and Barcelona.

Maradona's problems have been up front. I know that sounds daft when you look at the current squad where he has four of the top six forwards in the world who are 25 or under and aren't called Wayne Rooney or Cristiano Ronaldo. Carlos Tevez, Gonzalo Higuain, Sergio Aguero and the dwarf who can't head or score against English teams, unless it's in the Champions League Final which is after all the one match in that competition that really matters, are as good as it gets but they are too samey. Tevez and Messi like to play either wide or in a central position where they drop deep, a la Wayne Rooney. Sergio 'Kun' Aquero plays off a traditional centre forward (Diego Forlan) for Atletico Madrid whilst Hugain plays either as one striker on his own or wide as part of a three player attack.

Argentina have a rich heritage of playing either two 'big' strikers up front, the peerless Gabriel Batistuta and Hernan Crespo being the obvious pairing or one big striker and a little guy: Batistuta and Ortega, or Valdano and Maradona. It would seem that the obvious selection for Argentina would be Messi, Higuain and Aquero as this utilises the strengths of the three individuals, unfortunately either through injuries or poor tactical decisions the selection of the flea, the pipe and Kun has not been possible. If Maradona picks a 4-4-2 formation with Jonas on the left, Veron and Mascherano in the centre and Messi on the right then I can see Argentina reaching the semi-finals in South Africa, somehow I don't think he has the balls for that and despite having the current best player on the planet Argentina will probably go home early.