The AGM

"This is Paul, he's our auditor. You've seen him before I'm sure at previous AGM's, he knows all about clubs and business in general. If you have any questions on the accounts he's your man, if there's anything you want to know about clubs in general he'll know the answers, if you want to know how we are doing compared with other clubs he can help. I'll now hand you over to the auditor for any questions."

How could I not fail to be impressed by that build-up? The Conservative Club members are so friendly compared to the bear pit that is another politically affiliated club whose AGM I attend every year. There's no in-fighting, no arguing, just general back slapping and general bonhomie. That said there's also a shortage of anybody under 50 in the club tonight and when it comes to members being co-opted onto the committee you can't see their disappearing arses for dust.

The list of members who have died since the last AGM takes longer than in previous years, bearing out what the Chairman said last year about an ageing membership both locally and nationally. The minutes silence is, as you would expect, impeccably observed. It's a sobering thought that some of those people who attended last years AGM won't be attending another.

Having worked in this town for twenty six years, yes I was 5 when I started this long road called Audit Street, I know some of these people beyond the four walls of this club. This is a small town with a small town mentality and that has its downsides as well as it's upside. There is still a strong sense of neighbourhood, of people knowing each other without loads of 'blow-ins' and of small businesses catering for the local rather than passing trade.

The questions asked are easily dealt with and forty five minutes after the meeting was convened I am leaving to the sound of applause ringing in my ears. It's not hard to like people who applaud you for imparting your knowledge to them and they are genuinely pleased.

Things get even better after that, I stop at the local chippie after leaving the club. Despite having worked here for as long as I have I've never had the need to use the local chippie but boy I wish I had. You know when something hits the right spot, that perfect combination of man, fish and appreciation by the members of the Conservative club, well tonight's the night. I have never tasted fish and chips like this before, not even in Newquay which up until now had been the top of the pops for fish and chips.

It's been a crap week but tonight has made it all seem worthwhile.