The Drugs Really Don't Work

This is Caroline Dinenage, daughter of Fred the ageing television presenter and director of Portsmouth Football Club. Caroline is standing to be the next Conservative parliamentary candidate for Gosport, she is trying to keep the seat for the light blues after that bloke who bought a duck house on expenses was exposed as a cad and bounder (incidentally in one of life's bizarre twists the company that makes the duck houses is going out of business apparently because people don't want to be associated with the expenses fiasco).

Caroline has the ideal background for a politician, she's married, has children, was a councillor for five years, does her shopping at the local shops and seems an all round good egg. Her campaign page is here. One thing that annoys me about her little you tube film is the use of the word Primary to describe the election, please can somebody get onto Central Office and ask for this to be removed.

Anyway despite her wholesome, pint pulling, child carrying, RNLI loving, background, Caroline has a secret, well it's no longer a secret because it has made the newspapers - she once took drugs. Now I don't give a disgraced Conservative ministers backside that she took drugs, we've all done stupid things in our youth, I once watched a whole episode of Crossroads. The real shock, in the sense that in true politicians style it is not a shock, is that the drugs did nothing for her.

Does she not realise that people died in Colombia and Afghanistan so that those drugs would do nothing for her. What about the drug dealers who forced some poor woman to act as a mule between South America and Europe with the drugs in her stomach so that Caroline wouldn't enjoy that spliff or snort?

Come on people think this through. Any prospective politician who has ever taken drugs should come clean and simply say, "I was young, it was a mistake and I don't recommend it to anybody." It would be great if just once we weren't lied to, if somebody said it was an honest mistake I'd believe them. If on the other hand the drugs really didn't have any effect as it appears they haven't done with numerous politicians, then let's cut back on the funding for rehabiliation programmes, because obviously all those junkies have been lying to us just to get attention.

I hope Caroline Dinenage becomes MP for Gsoport and does some good for that particularly shitty part of Hampshire. She's local and therefore understands the areas problems far better than somebody who is parachuted in and has to be briefed constantly by an army of support staff.

Now if we could just stop politicians pretending they are all hip and trendy we might learn to love them a little more.