Me and Britt Ekland














Went to see a new client on Friday and when I got there I had one of those cartoon double-take moments - this particular new client could be Britt Ekland's twin sister - albeit with a Geordie accent rather than a sexy Swedish twang. That's the thing about a Geordie accent, like a West Country one it's attractive for about thirty seconds and then it really grates - still when you look like that who cares?

Anyway it brought back memories of my encounter last summer with the real Britt - I met her in a shop down in north Soho - Ray Davies would have been proud!

I'd been up to town for an exhibition at Tate Modern and decided to do some shopping before I went home. Having been in most of the usual places I decided to go for lunch in Old Compton Street and couldn't help noticing flyers on most of the lamp-posts advertising Britt Ekland doing a book signing where you could meet her, take her photograph and get an autograph.

I thought this was a typical Soho wind-up. I've been visiting Soho for the best part of thirty-two years and I can remember when Samantha Fox and Linda Lusardi were both strippers, Carol Smilie was a prostitute in Greek Street and apparently J-Lo now works in a rub and tug off Berwick Street - the message here is don't believe all the adverts in Soho.

Anyway one of the places I always visit in Soho is the movie shop at the junction of Brewer Street and Gt.Windmill Street and that was the address on the flyers. When I got there, there was no sign of the petite ex-Bond girl and I could sense a general feeling of anti-climax among my fellow film buffs. Obviously nobody wanted to ask the lad behind the counter for fear of looking like a dork - then a lad in his late teens rushed in and shouted "Is Britt," pausing to get his breath back, "is Britt Ekland really here?"

"Sure," replied the lad behind the counter, "she's in the basement."

There was a slight delay whilst those four words sunk in around the shoppers and then suddenly everybody, including me, was heading towards the basement. Now, when I'm going up to town for the day I allow myself one luxury item, it's best to travel light on the train and tube and this time it was my mp3 player not my digital camera - doh!

Well I could impress her by playing all of The Clash back catalogue couldn't I!

Anyway Britt herself was lovely, she posed, she signed, she talked and she said "Hello." The woman who Rod Stewart asked to "spread her wings and let me come inside," on Tonights The Night said "Hello."

I felt embarrassed, unsure whether it was because I'd got caught up in the whole meeting a star thing or because I had nothing for her to sign or pose with - just "Hello."

Anyway, after that I thought perhaps I should visit Berwick Street to see J-Lo, but I'm a sensible, married, fortysomething accountant and saveloy and chips appealed more.