Uniform in ambition if not in,
ahem, uniform.
There's a saying in sport that the longer you have to think about something the more likely it is to go wrong, there's also another saying that goes 'fail to prepare and be prepared to fail.' This weekend was, as all Englishman (and women) stout and true know, the 940th anniversary of the Battle of Hastings.
English Heritage organised it, the biggest ever event of its kind, and Bill and Harry faced each other across the field of battle supported by more than a hundred mounted troops and foot soldiers. 3,000 re-enactors (strange word) and performers from across the world gathered on the original battlefield to accurately replay the thrilling sights and sounds of the battle, and would you believe it William won again.
Now the reason Harold lost the battle was two fold: firstly he was knackered after the journey down from Lincolnshire, having been involved in the Battle of Stamford Bridge. Now this just shows he must have had a male navigator who was too embarrassed to ask the way, I mean it's simple: A15-A46-A1-M11-M25-A21. I got that from the AA website so surely a King could have managed it or bought himself the latest SatNav from Halfords which comes complete with a cheerful, spotty oik who'll fix it free of charge, plus there are plenty of 'Wild Bean Cafe' stops on the way or he could have left Lincoln Friday lunchtime, stopped overnight at the Travelodge Thurrock, taking advantage of their special family room rates, and have been in Hastings breakfasted and refreshed long before William's boat's landed.
Secondly he was at the top of the hill which meant that his horses slipped as they charged downhill towards Bill's cunning Frenchies, so why did he not start in the car park under the cliffs? Now I know that Hastings beach is a bit pebbly but it's still more horse friendly than the grassy slopes and Harry's horseman would have stood a better chance, plus he might not have got an arrow in his eye because he would have been on level ground rather than directly above his killer.
Oh well, there's always next year.
4 comments:
Very good Paul.
You don't say if you were there [I'll check again maybe you were?]
We popped down for the afternoon . Unfortunately so did quite a few others...
By the time we got the car park it was sold out. Fortunately husband is not one to be defeated and we found a hole in the fence.
It as very good - lots of people in medieval costume .
Battle is a very pretty village and we have made a note to take a weekend there soon.
No I wasn't there Lucy, I was actually on the beach at Southbourne this morning - the three of us with a mile of sand each!
So Harold was knackered after travelling from Stamford Bridge?
Serves him right for watching Chelsea!
The old ones are the best! (allegedly)
Ah yes, you can't be the old ones - unless it's with a stick!
Post a Comment