Love is.........................

Love is real , real is love

Love is feeling , feeling love

Love is wanting to be loved

Love is touch, touch is love

Love is reaching, reaching love

Love is asking to be loved

Love is you

You and me

Love is knowing we can be

Love is free, free is love

Love is living, living love

Love is needed to be loved

John Lennon knew what he was writing about but I was thinking the other day about the difference between 'being in love with somebody' and 'loving somebody'. I suspect that many people will assume there is no difference and to be honest I can't quite remember where the idea came from that there should be a difference - I think there is though.

Being in love suggests to me the aftermath of actually falling in love with another person. You know, that moment when you meet somebody who stimulates all those parts, physical and mental, that need stimulation. Of course even this can be open to interpretation, the physical attraction might not impact on the mental attraction and vice versa - I mean was Arthur Miller attracted to Marilyn Monroe because of her views on his writing or because of her looks and what did she see in him that she found more attractive than the obvious good looks of jumping Joe?

Over a period of time does that initial feeling subside or does it grow into something along the lines of contented companionship. Do you love somebody because they share the same interests as you or do you love somebody because the only thing you have in common is each other? Do you stop actually 'being in love' but your love and affection grows because what you give to each other is more important than that initial excitement.

Do you stay with somebody because it's the easiest option or because you can't imagine living without them? I asked Magoo, one of my ladies at work, whether after living with her boyfriend for nearly nine years she was still in love with him or whether she just loved him and had slipped into that cosy comfort zone, even at the comparatively early age of 27. Her reply was a bit of a surprise. She said she was in the comfort zone and wanted to marry him but he wanted to wait. I asked why she felt it was important to be married, bearing in mind she doesn't have any religious convictions, to which she replied that she wanted to belong to someone. I laughed and said I was glad to see feminism had been such a success.

So what about me, have I slipped into the comfort zone? No, I still fancy Janis as much as I did back in 1982 when we got together, besides which I don't wear cardigans or slippers (yet!)