Just In Case Lucy Should Be Passing Through

I see that Michael Ballack is to present Jose Mourinho with a pot containing the fragment of bone that he had removed last week, much to the Special One's annoyance.

Let's just hope that this "show and tell why I've been off sick" doesn't catch on. We can do without mucas encrusted tissues as proof of the flu, used toilet rolls as proof of the famous Monday 'upset stomach' and I'm more than happy to accept Colin's word that it happens to a lot of women once a month.