Sorry, but that's too expensive for a casual affair

Okay, visitors to my dressing room blog will be aware of how much Yeovil Town have warmed my footballing cockles over the past fortnight, I've written about there victory over Notts. Forest here. So I thought as it was a Bank Holiday weekend and Nathalie would be away with the Scouts from Friday to Monday why not do something a bit different.

Yeovil, I thought, no not the Somerset town famous for, er helicopters? The football team, go just for the sheer hell of it. So I logged onto the Yeovil Town website and discovered that you had to be a member of the club, hold various ticket stubs and be able to trace your Zummerset ancestry back beyond a quick grope in Aldi's car park last Friday. Fair enough, I'm not a supporter.

Next try were those licenced bandits at a certain ticket agency whose name I won't mention except to say their name includes a word that appears in both Master of The Universe and, Master and Commander. They are advertising tickets for the League One play-off final from £19-£58.

The signs are encouraging because the first page says "This page is only for those wanting seats in the Yeovil Town area." Phew, that's a relief. Last thing you want on a weekend is to sit next to some bloke from oop north, who talks for ninety minutes about his whippet and offers you one of his wifes balm cakes at half time. Okay, stereotypes aside I was pleased to see that somebody was being sensible when it came to distribution and segregation.

I typed in my chosen price 'any', my preferred location 'any' and then hit the return button. You then have to do one of those stupid typing tests, you know enter the word exactly as you can see it in the box - "ripoff". Apparently this is designed to stop touts getting more than a hundred tickets each.

"Thank you, we are currently searching for tickets to meet your requirements," or something like that. Have you ever noticed how computer managed ticketting is so much more friendly than some old bat on the end of the phone who has the patience of Attila the Hun at Border Control.

£48 per ticket, plus £3 handling fee, plus £4.90 guaranteed postal delivery before noon Saturday. Plus £24 petrol or £66 train fares, plus £10 tube, plus £15 food and drinks, plus £10 programme. Now much as I enjoyed watching them play on T.V I think that £170 to watch a team I don't support is a bit steep.

Okay, you can call me tight but I'll watch it on the box, pint of Boddies in one hand, packet of pork scratchings in the other.