So How Does This Work Exactly?

An immigrant from Turkey opens a kebab shop in your High Street and one night as you walk home from the pub you call in and in exchange for four of your English pounds he sells you a Doner Kebab. You get home, crack open a beer and watch the late film whilst eating your large Doner.

The next Friday you do the same again, and every Friday night for a year, or maybe two years or maybe ten years - who knows. One day when you are cycling through the park with one of your children you feel a pain in your chest, it feels as if somebody is treading on you, the pain spreads down your arms, the last thing you remember is the sound of your little boy/girl screaming "Daddy."

As you lay in the bed at the local hospital the heart specialist tells you that you are at least four stone overweight and that your arteries are those of a sixty year old. You are shocked because you are only in your early thirties. The Doctor tells you that you must change your diet and do more exercise. He asks you how much alcohol you drink a week, you aren't very good at maths but you halve the real figure and tell him ten pints. He asks you how much fatty food you eat a week, again you halve the real figure and say, "two fry-ups at the weekend and a Doner every Friday."

"Ah," says the Doctor, "there you have it. Before those bloody immigrants came to this country you were a healthy individual and now because of their takeaways you are overweight and have had a heart attack."
"Yeah," you agree, "bloody immigrants."

(I apologise if the above doesn't make a whole lot of sense but it was inspired(?) by the thread on the 5Live Board about obesity - seems the immigrants are at fault again!)