Football: A Game of Two Haves

Sport it is said is a metaphor for life, or is it the other way round. I have one of those football philosophy shirts and on the front is a quote from John Paul Sartre: "In football everything is complicated by the prescence of the opposite team" - on the back it just says Sartre 10. This week it would seem that in football everything is complicated by the prescence (or lack of it) of money.

Earlier this week Chelsea announced the appointment of 'Big' Phil Scolari, the appointment was accompanied by a further announcement, completely devoid of any irony, that he would be given a transfer fund of £100 million of your English pounds. You do wonder if Peter Kenyon ever listens to any of the total bollocks he spouts when he claims that Chelsea will be the biggest club in the world by 2014 and self sufficient financially by 2010. Yes, that's a good idea Peter Kenyon, borrow another £100 million to add the £350 million you already owe the owner, that really does increase your level of financial sustainability doesn't it! We all know Roman Abramovich is the sort of person that Oscar Wilde was referring to when he said that "The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." Abramovich is clearly a cynic who is hell bent on spending his way to success without having a clue about the history of football or a care about how success is achieved - which is probably why he is one of the richest men in the world. Chelsea are now employing their fourth manager since September 2000 in pursuit of the Champions League title that the owner craves, this is the man who stated, via Peter Kenyon, that he'd like every home game won 5-0 and the five goals should include at least one goal from 35 yards.

And before anybody thinks I'm criticising Chelsea unjustly please note that I've said before that clubs like them, Manchester United, Liverpool and Newcastle are on the slippery slope to financial ruin. The fact that Liverpool have managed to go from being a well run, if under funded club, owned by the Moores family to one that now finds itself paying two Americans £62 million pounds in interest a year, and all within the space of eighteen months tells you everything you need to know about the moral and financial bankrupt state that English football is currently in. If English clubs cannot finance themselves, as Barcelona manage to do so brilliantly, then they must cut their cloth accordingly, if not then they will disappear down the league pyramid.

The news of Chelsea's latest bid for European domination came two days before the latest twist in the saga that is AFC Bournemouth - the club that not many supporters follow and one which to be honest the town has never wanted. The club went into administration last season, a move that meant they were deducted 10 points and this contributed to their relegation from League One to League Two, a similar fate fell to Luton Town. News this week is that the deal to apply for a CVA will not take place before the Football League hands over the Golden Share, which is in effect the league inviting the club to continue its memebership of the Football League. This means that AFC Bournemouth will begin the season with, wait for it...............big drum roll on the desk.................Ladies and Gentlemen.............MINUS FIFTEEN POINTS.....yes, that's right -15.

How, in the name of Harry Redknapp, can the club survive with that sort of start? We aren't talking of a club with the fanbase of Leeds United here, one that can call on 30,000 people when the going gets tough and Notts. Forest are the visitors. If that news wasn't bad enough the follow-up news just made the whole thing farcical. The club are under a transfer embargo, that means exactly what it appears to mean, they cannot sign any player whilst in administration. Kevin Bond, the manager, has said that he is prepared to begin the season with only 14 contracted players, that's a fine sentiment althought it does gloss over two important facts: firstly the Football League will not allow the club to begin the season with only 14 players, we've just witnessed the demise of Gretna because they couldn't guarantee to fulfill their fixtures, the second, and ever so slightly more important reason, is that the club only has seven players signed so far for next season and that includes three youth team players and two goalkeepers!

The club has been sending out letters and e-mails this week, I'm on the e-mail list, asking supporters if they would like to sponsor the shirts, it first occurred to me that the idea of individual fans sponsoring shirts would be quite amusing if slightly surreal - the image of eleven players wearing shirts with different names on the front still makes me smile as I type this. But no, they are asking for corporate sponsors who have £50,000 to come forward, that's me out of the running then! Of course we've been here before as well, I can still remember when AFC Bournemouth were the answer to the pub quiz question, "Which is the only one of the 92 Football League clubs who do not have a sponsors name on their shirts?" Still if it was good enough for Barcelona it was good enough for Bournemouth.

The other obvious cashflow problem is that those fans who would normally be renewing their season tickets around now are a little reluctant to do so. That's because, despite the friendly against FA Cup winners Portsmouth and a League Cup First Round draw against FA Cup runners-up Cardiff City, there's not really much incentive to handover more money to the administrators of a club who cannot guarantee that there are only 46 matches between the first game of the season and relegation to the Blue Square League if they do manage to sign enough players to warrant Kevin Bond being able to hand out eleven shirts for the first game.