Test Drives (Part Two)

I was told last week that the purchase of my new company car has been brought forward from January to December, this is because my old car has already been promised to somebody! This news, told to me last Monday, resulted in a week of increasing desperation and quite frankly depression - not medical depression but the realisation that the budget I had been given meant I would get a new car with all the appeal of a cold takeaway (one that was supposed to be hot rather than an ice cream cone that is meant to be cold).

Anyway Friday night I happen to meet my boss in the office at 8:45 p.m, he was coming out of an AGM as I was returning after my short talk on clubs. I explained the situation to him and he said we'd change the parameters of the search to make the budget what he was going to pay rather than the list price of the rrp. This is a much better deal and opens up all sorts of possibilities given the state of the motor industry at the moment and the availability of 'good deals'. So Saturday morning the three of us set out with the intention of looking at four cars and hopefully getting the chance of a test drive.

First up is the local VW dealer, I say local but in fact it's the only VW dealership between Weymouth and Southampton. The good news is that upon arrival there are dozens of cars available both new and used, the showroom looks like it's just landed from space and the exterior and interior of the building both have plenty of potential customers milling about. I ask about the car I'm after and the young salesmen asks me 'business of private purchase?' When I reply business he apologises for the fact that the person who is the 'Corporate Sales Executive' only works Monday to Friday and nobody else can take us out for a spin. I'm tempted to reply along the lines of 'so much for so-called German efficiency' but keep my thoughts to myself and leave with a brochure, price list and business card.

Next up is the Renault-Peugeot dealer, about a mile away from the VW dealership. Now, a good test as to how keenly you're business is sought after is to turn up wearing casual clothes rather than a suit. I know one manufacturer that told all its dealerships to forget about preconceived ideas about what people are wearing when the company launched a sports car aimed specifically at the 'reverse baseball cap market.' Anyway the 'accountant on his day off' look is not one that draws immediate attention. I walk around the area where the new and used cars were parked, around the front of the large 'cube' that housed the salesmen sheltering from the doom and gloom of the recession, and the typical November weather, and back down the side and back of the showroom, getting about as much reaction as Claudia Schiffer would if she were to sashay naked into a room of Eunuchs. 'Bollocks' I thought, we'll probably buy the car from an online dealer anyway so it's not doing me much good to be stand offish.

I walked through the double doors that swished apart as if they were part of a Star Trek set and said to the first salesman who made eye contact, "Can I talk to somebody about the 407?" "Certainly Sir, I'm actually dealing with a customer at the moment, I'll fetch Chris my colleague."

Chris looked about twelve years old and bounded towards me with all the youthful enthusiasm of an Andrex puppy. Now the first thing that car salesmen always ask isn't, 'Can I help you Sir?' which is what they do in clothes shops, or 'Do you need any help Sir?' like they do in upmarket jewellers or 'Would you like to hear what it sounds like?' which is what they do in old fashioned Hi-Fi shops .

No, the first thing you get asked upon entering a car dealership is 'Would you like a coffee?' Somebody somewhere, no doubt as part of a salesman course, has decided that the thought of parting with a huge wad of cash when combined with the chance to drive a car that doesn't belong to you isn't enough to set you heart racing, you need caffeine as well. I declined the offer and Chris and I sat down at a desk to discuss my 'requirements.' I told him what I was after, he said that was good because they had some in stock, I said when can I have a test drive, he said when would you like one, I said now and five minutes later we were driving down the road in a new Peugeot 407. It was great: quiet, smooth, plenty of room in the back for Janis and Nathalie and beaming smiles all round. We got back to the showroom, Chris took some details about methods of payment etc and then told me that if I ordered there and then I could have a new car by the middle of January - the one we had tried was top of the range with all sorts of extras I wouldn't use. I told him how impressed we'd all been and promised to keep in touch - although I did draw the line at exchanging Christmas cards (joke!).

Next stop the home of the most famous export to come out of Sweden after Abba, Bjorn Borg and Ikea - no, not the Herring, Volvo. Yes I know what you are thinking, boring accountant type chooses Swedish functionality over excitement, but the model I was interested in wasn't the estate it was the saloon (does that make it more or less boring?). Anyway, by the time we reach the Volvo dealership it's beginning to rain, it's dark (despite it only being 2:30) and the purveyors of Swedish efficiency and design are reluctant to leave their tastefully lit showroom to make our acquaintance - so we go shopping in the nearby Tesco instead and I buy a can of Cumberland Sausage and Vegetable soup and a packet of crutons.

This morning I sent an e-mail to the 'Corporate Sales Executive' at VW and received a rather excited reply within ten minutes. So it's come down to that historical fight between VW representing German efficiency and value for money versus French flair and style - which is better, there's only one way to find out!