Not A Good Start

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is unable to decide whether its smart-casual or casual-smart

Considering the problems that occurred in and around the G20 Summit in London: riots, pork on the menu etc you would have hoped that the NATO Summit would have run as smooth as the leather on a passenger seat - to quote Steven Patrick Morrissey. But your hopes would have been dashed and left you sat with head in hands wondering why you put all your chips on red when black was the obvious colour.

Without wishing to sound like one of the nutters on the bus who blame the M word for everything you'd have to say that once again appeasement is the name of the game and democracy, which is something I think we in the west all subscribe to in one form or another, is the victim.

At the start of the summit in Baden-Baden (we've done all the 'so good they named it twice jokes thank you) the 28 leaders of the NATO alliance (what a wonderful word that is) couldn't agree on who to appoint as the new secretary general. The reason for this lack of agreement could be traced all the way back to those Danish cartoons making fun of good old Mohammed. The Danish government you see backed the newspapers right to publish and be damned, the Turkish Prime Minister however believes that this single act of support, of the right to publish what you want within the existing Danish legislation, is showing disrespect towards all Muslims and is opposing the appointment of Anders Fogh Rasmussen, the Danish prime minister to replace Jaap de Hoop Scheffer at the head of the organisation when he steps down at the end on July. Personally I think the Danish PM should get the gig on the basis that he has a cool name but that would be trivialising the matter and lowering the gravitas quotient.

Anyway, old Foggie was the choice France, Germany and the UK, which by my maths makes that 3 for and 25 unknowns so it's hardly a majority, but Ankara regards the Dane’s candidacy “negatively” because of support for the publication of newspaper cartoons making fun of the Prophet Mohammed which triggered a furore throughout the Muslim world.

Angela Merkel, a woman who isn't afraid of upsetting a few people in getting the best deal for all concerned, told reporters before dinner on Friday that she was “convinced” that the alliance would agree on a new head. Ms Merkel woke up this morning to find her backing of Foggie was falling on deaf ears among potential suitors. That in itself isn't something new to old Ange as she's already had to back down on several policies regarding immigrant workers in the German parliament and she gives me the impression of being one of the those 'shoot now ask questions later' politicians who loves the limelight a little too much.

Just to add to Ms Merkel's embarrassment the US have said that there isn't any urgency over the nomination, they obviously believe that the whole matter can be solved quicker than it has taken the G20 to solve the world economy or NATO to sought out Afghanistan. Anyway just like the G20 in London, the meeting in Strasbourg is attracting protesters like some giant sheet of anti-democratic flypaper, there will be violent protests protesting against acts of violent aggression and no doubt the black t-shirts will once again be on the streets in force. The French police, who it has to be said believe in their constitutional right to fire tear gas whilst at the same time disliking the whole business on a personal level, have begun the weekend firing tear gas at protesters.

Anyway back to Angela Merkel and it seems that the old lounge lizard Silvio Berluscoi caused her to lose her patience on Friday at the a ceremonial crossing of the river Rhine. Silvio was talking on his mobile phone, no doubt working his way through his black book of look-a-likey Scouse transgender singers, and kept old Ange waiting for seven minutes in her three inch Koch's as the television cameras filmed the whole thing. In the end she gave a German shrug, stamped her feet and walked off in the direction of the town centre.

Italian officials later explained that the old silver Fox was in fact trying to smooth Angela's passage by talking turkey with the Turks about Foggie's summer gig. It's not known whether or not Ange believed him and rumours that the sound of Dollar's Love's Gotta Hold On Me could be heard from her bedroom were neither confirmed or denied by the German press officer.