Crystal Palace 1 West Ham Utd 0 - First Div. Play-off Final

It hurts, even now some five hours after the final whistle but defeat hurts. What is to become of the club I have supported faithfully for forty years. How many players will be sold this summer to reduce the £33 million pound debt? How does a club run up £33 million pounds worth of debt? Why couldn't our players realise how important this match was?

When you choose your club, or its chosen for you by reason of your birthplace, parental influence etc you form an emotional bond which is difficult to explain to somebody who isn't interested in football. They win, you feel great, they lose you feel crap, they draw you feel pissed off that they didn't win but glad they didn't lose. I've watched the highs (1975,1980) - the lows (1992, 2003,2004) and the in-betweens (1986). We've had the good (Trev, Dev, Bonzo, Bobby, Geoff, Martin, Alvin), the bad(Boogers, Dumitrescu), the ugly (Dowie, Repka, Harewood) and all shades in between.

Today there was indifference, a lack of respect for the heritage of our club. In football players come and go, managers come and go, directors and chairman come and go - in some cases grounds come and go - but the fans remain constant. We watch our teams play everyday of the week bar Thursdays to satisfy the demands of television, and travel from Plymouth to Sunderland, Bristol to Ipswich in search of three points. For ninety minutes we cling to the hope that a lucky break, a moments skill, a decision our way will end the turmoil we put ourselves through physically and mentally and we will leave full of relief. Relief that will forge a smile when we think about those three points later on that evening.

This season our average attendance topped 30,000 - in a division we shared with the likes of Walsall, Rotherham, Crewe. Next season it will be Plymouth, QPR, Leicester.