Grumpy Git Alert

I've noticed from some of my blog posts lately that I appear to be turning into a grumpy old so and so: British women, ITV, family meal times etc. Well I'm afraid it won't be stopping with this post.

What is it about convenience foods? Not all convenience foods obviously, I mean who has the space to grow their own Navy beans (Gavin and Mags aside), make their own tomato sauce, cover the beans and put in a can with Baldys Baked Beans on the label? We've had cans from which you can spray cream and custard for years, but no, I'm talking about that 'time saving' phenomenon of the last two years the squeezy bottle. You know, first it was Heinz Salad Cream, then HP Sauce, then it was Tomato Ketchup, then Marmite and now Colman's Mustard. Okay the first three I can see some sort of justification but the last two, what is that all about?

Surely one of the great joys of life is scraping your knife around the inside of the Marmite jar chasing those last few scrapings, where's the fun in squeezing Marmite all over your soldiers? Okay I can see potential for plenty of fun with that, but that's not the point.

Where will it end? Jam in a tube, peanut butter in a tube.

Last night I think I saw convenience food reach it's nadir, an advert for Nesquik Magic Straws.

Oh yes, for those too stupid to be able to count as far as two and measure two teaspoons of Nesquik powder into a cup or glass of milk the powder is in the straw and you suck the milk through it. Why not? After all, especially with Dentist charges on the increase since 1st April, what better way is there to spend your salary and the occasional morning than sitting with your children as their teeth are filled or removed due to excess sugar intake.






For those who find counting to two an intellectual challenge too far.
(Wow! Three different spellings of one word in the same sentence)


And this is from Nestle's own site:

A great way for kids to enjoy milk, each chocolate or strawberry flavoured straw magically transforms milk into a tasty Nesquik milkshake. Watch as the great tasting beads of Nesquik whiz up through the straw and flavour the milk, turning it into a delicious after school drink. The perfect party trick for budding Harry Potters out there - you can even slurp at different speeds to get a different intensity of flavour! You won’t believe it until you try it.Nesquik Magic Straws also make life easier for mum; they’re mess-free, good for on-the-go and great wherever there’s milk. They’re another great way to enjoy the delicious taste of Nesquik, which has been loved by kids and mums alike for over 55 years.

Notice that Kids, great wherever there's milk - so stick one in a cow, the flavour will certainly be intense!

P.S Gavin has e-mailed me to point out he rents an allotment and is not a landowner and that Magic Straws are being pitched as a breakfast cereal - aargh!