He's Behind You!


When Osama bin Laden was killed earlier this week, US officials said DNA testing and facial recognition software proved they had got their man.

However, the lack of actual documentation released to the public (so far), and the fact he was buried at sea so quickly, has predictably seen an explosion of conspiracy theories dreamt up by doubters, or ‘deathers’ – as they’ve have now been dubbed. Here are just a few of them.


1. He must be still alive because there’s no proof

The lack of photos, videos and other evidence, plus inconsistencies in accounts of the raid that killed him, apparently shows the US government made the whole thing up.

Taliban spokesman Zabiullah Mujahid is one doubter. He released a statement to journalists saying: “This news is only coming from one side, from Obama’s office, and America has not shown any evidence or proof to support this claim.” Iranian State television also declared: "the mystery [of his death] has increased”.

Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, whose son was killed in the Iraq war, also disputed the news on Facebook. She said: "I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL, you're stupid. Just think to yourself - they paraded Saddam's dead sons around to prove they were dead - why do you suppose they hastily buried this version of OBL at sea? This lying, murderous Empire can only exist with your brainwashed consent - just put your flags away and THINK!"

According to Google their figures show most of the searchers of "Bin Laden conspiracy" have been from the US states of Oregon, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Indiana and New Jersey. The same states, presumably, who lead the way in "Elvis is alive," searches.

2. He’s already dead

Ever since the September 11 attacks there have been numerous reports of bin Laden’s death. Back in 2001 Fox News reported he’d died of lung complications in Tora Bora. In 2005 Senator Harry Reid suggested bin Laden was killed in the Pakistan earthquake, while in 2007 Benazir Bhutto said the al-Qaeda boss was murdered by Pakistani militant Omar Sheikh.

Conspiracy theorists reckon official news of his death was kept from the public to continue justifying the war on terror, with the US government periodically releasing fake videos of the terror leader to keep the world convinced. The theory is that because the powers that be didn’t need bin Laden as a terrorist ‘boogieman’ anymore, they finally announced his death.

3. He was taken alive

Controversial Fox News talk show host Glenn Beck a famous for not only his stupidity but also his conspiracy theories speculated that Obama ‘ghosted out’ the al-Qaeda leader - which means the Navy SEALs made it look like he was killed when actually he was taken alive, presumably to be interrogated.

4. He knew about a nuclear bomb

Beck’s other theory (yes it's true he can have more than one thought a week) was that bin Laden was captured to stop him revealing the location of al-Qaeda’s nuclear bomb. WikiLeaks have already disclosed that US security officials briefed other countries on the possibility the terror group had a dirty bomb. Beck didn’t explain why the US government would do this, but hey it's another theory on the bonfire.

5. He’s been ‘on ice’ for years

Another controversial US radio host Alex Jones said the US concocted the story to justify a security crackdown. He reckons bin Laden was killed back in 2002 and his body has been “literally frozen” to be rolled out at a later date. Personally I thought only Walt Disney and Richard Branson were frozen after death, or am I thinking of Lassie?

6. He was given up by Pakistan

Website Maggie’s Farm quotes ‘speculation’ (though they don’t name sources) that, contrary to the reports the US acted alone, Pakistan actually knew all all about Osama’s location and offered up the al-Qaeda leader as a “sweetener” to speed US withdrawal from Afghanistan. This seems entirely plausible to me, I mean how stupid do Pakistan want everybody else in the world to think they are?

7. His killing was delayed for the Royal Wedding

The close proximity of the Royal Wedding and the death of bin Laden inevitably means some conspiracy theorists have linked the two events. Firstly, a security expert told The Daily Express that the reason Wills and Kate postponed their honeymoon - possibly to Jordan – was because they had a tip-off on Friday about the upcoming events in Pakistan. There’s also been speculation that the White House, who could have killed bin Laden on Friday, delayed pulling the trigger for two days in order for the two events not to clash.

8. His date of death is spooky

Osama bin Laden’s death was announced exactly eight years after George W Bush made his now infamous ‘Mission Accomplished’ announcement. Even spookier, it happened 66 years and 6 hours after the world learned about the death of Hitler. That’s 666.


Well I think we can at least all agree that Mr Hitler is dead.