So I'm sat at work and my mobile phone rings, a fairly unusual occurrence as I will explain later, I don't recognise the number and it's not one of my contacts but I can see it's a 'proper' number so I pick up.
"Hello is that Paul?"
"This is Barry from O2 and I want to tell you about some of our current great offers."
"We've got loganberries, strawberries, aliens, the whole lot. What contract are you on?"
"Pay as you go."
"And what's your average top-up on that?"
"Twenty a year."
"Yes, it's only for emergencies, don't use it much."
"Twenty pounds a year, seriously?"
"Right. Well I guess that would put you in the very low usage category and I suppose you wouldn't be interested in our offers."
"Not really, but thanks for the call."
I tell this to a colleague who seems to have a mobile strapped permanently to her head. "They probably thought they were talking to Mr Tightarse."
"Why would I need an expensive phone. The only people who need me during the day know where I am - here."
"What about when you go out at weekends?"
"Why would I want to leave the house to make a phone call when I have two phones indoors."
"Might be an emergency."
"Thank you and Good Night."